


baby it's cold

by HolisticFangirl



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Brotzly - Freeform, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Ice Skating, M/M, Todd Brotzman is Bad at Feelings, rated T for some very mild language, so much fluff oh my god, they're so in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-09-02 09:53:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16784602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HolisticFangirl/pseuds/HolisticFangirl
Summary: Farah: Tina says she knows a cool ice-skating place. We could all go today for our double date?Farah: *outingFarah: autocorrect, sorry-No matter what Farah thinks, Todd is completely, definitely, one-hundred-percent, absolutely not in love with Dirk.(Except he totally is, and all it takes is a trip to an ice rink to prove it.)





	baby it's cold

“We should go on a double date,” Farah says one morning over coffee.

Todd glances up from his steaming mug and looks at her, lounging comfortably in the booth across from him. They’re sitting in a cozy, nameless diner-- the same one they go to every Sunday morning-- and it’s during times like these that Farah looks truly _relaxed._ She’s not sitting on the edge of her seat, ready to bolt or fight or kick ass at any minute; instead, she’s leaning back, cradling a cup of hot chocolate in her palms.

She’s been looking relaxed a lot more lately, Todd realizes, ever since she’s gotten together with Tina. Softer, somehow-- Farah always seems to have this fond, happy smile playing across her face, and Todd finds that he likes it. She’s his friend, after all, and seeing her all content and satisfied makes him feel oddly pleased.

Like now, for instance. Farah’s lips are quirked upwards and she’s subconsciously smiling, chewing slightly on her lower lip, as she thinks about her girlfriend.

And _that’s_ the exact moment when Farah’s question registers in Todd’s brain.

“A double date?” he frowns.

“Well, yeah,” Farah shrugs, making the sleeves of her leather jacket glint in the sunlight streaming in through one of the diner’s numerous windows. “Me and Tina, and you and--”

She cuts herself off abruptly, dark eyes widening slightly. For a second, Todd’s confused-- and then he realizes what she was about to say.

He nearly throws his scalding coffee across his lap, but somehow manages to set it down on the table without singeing any vital organs.

 _“Dirk_ and I?” he sputters, feeling his face flame. “I-- Farah, we’re not--”

“Sorry,” Farah winces, and she has the decency to look ashamed. “I… forgot.”

“You _forgot?”_ Todd repeats, feeling just a little bit hysterical. It’s far too early for this, after all. “Dirk and I are _not dating.”_

Farah shrugs again, more violently this time. In the back of his mind, Todd wonders if it’s possible to dislocate your shoulder from overly-casual shrugging; he bets Tina could. Tina is the queen of overly-casual gestures. “I’m sorry!” Farah says again. “It’s kind of hard to remember that, especially when you guys act like… you know. How you act.”

Todd’s face heats up even more. “We-- we do _not_ act like--”

So Dirk lives in his apartment. So what? He’s Todd’s business partner, and also his best friend, and it’s _perfectly_ acceptable for best friends to sometimes crash on each other’s couches. Even if it’s every night, and even if Dirk usually crashes on Todd’s _bed,_ not on the couch. But that’s not because they _like_ each other-- it’s because Todd’s freaking apartment has no freaking _heating,_ and it gets _cold_ at night, okay?

Vaguely, Todd’s aware that he sounds _way_ too defensive over the issue, and he isn’t exactly sure why. It’s not like he has _feelings_ for Dirk. Because he totally doesn’t. He’s _Todd Brotzman,_ and he doesn’t _do_ feelings.

So he just scowls at Farah, mutters a reluctant agreement to the double date outing, even if _it’s not a double date,_ and drowns his sorrows in black coffee.

When Todd gets back to his apartment, it’s ten in the morning and he goes straight to his bedroom, where Dirk is only beginning to stir, because-- contrary to popular belief-- Dirk is not a morning person.

Dirk’s face is buried into his pillow _(Todd’s_ pillow, actually) and he’s mumbling incoherently. Beams of sunlight make his dark hair glow briefly amber, and Todd has the fleeting thought that his best friend is kind of beautiful.

 _That_ unhelpful thought is immediately followed by an internal slap to the face.

_What the fuck?_

Todd is _definitely,_ one-hundred-percent sure that he’s _never_ thought of Dirk as _beautiful_ before. At least… well. Not _recently,_ anyway, and those other times in the past were just because his mind had been clouded from the adrenaline that came with working a case in the holistic detective agency.

“This is all Farah’s fault,” Todd mutters to himself as he stalks out of the bedroom.

When Dirk _finally_ manages to drag himself out of bed, it’s nearing eleven. Todd is curled up on the couch, absently skimming through emails on his laptop. Unfortunately, there are no potential clients messaging them with a new case. The only email he’s received in the past few hours is an advertisement from some ice rink place, offering him a fifteen-percent-off coupon on his first pair of skates.

“Good morning,” he hears Dirk say from across the living room, and Todd glances up. Dirk is standing in the doorway, still dressed in nothing but a pair of dark shorts and a gray t-shirt, and his hair is a complete and utter mess.

Todd thinks he looks kind of adorable. In a totally platonic way, of course.

“Good morning,” Todd replies, faintly amused at the way Dirk’s normally-bright eyes are still heavy with sleep. “I brought you tea from the diner. It’s on the counter.”

Dirk perks up at this. “Did you add sugar?”

Todd snorts. “Five packets, just how you like it.”

Dirk breaks out into a sleepy grin that makes Todd momentarily forget how to breathe. Luckily, he turns and pads off into the kitchen before he can see the light flush spreading across Todd’s cheeks.

_Pull yourself together, Brotzman._

By the time Dirk returns, cradling a paper cup filled with steaming tea in his hands, Todd has dutifully returned to browsing through online paperwork. Dirk crosses the room and sits down beside him on the couch, making the cushions dip beneath his weight.

“Any cases?” Dirk asks, sounding about a million times more awake now that he’s had a few sips of tea.

“No,” Todd replies. Just then, his phone buzzes in his back pocket. He pulls it out and glances down at the notification flashing across the screen.

**Farah: Tina says she knows a cool ice-skating place. We could all go today for our double date?**

**Farah: *outing**

**Farah: autocorrect, sorry**

Todd chokes on his own spit, breaking out into a cough. Dirk looks at him curiously and Todd double-checks to make sure that Dirk can’t see his screen.

Deciding to ignore Farah’s not-so-subtle implications, Todd taps back a quick “ _sure_ ” in response. He looks back at his laptop screen, where the email from the ice rink is still displayed.

In Todd’s mind, a voice-- one that sounds suspiciously like Dirk’s-- says, _“Everything is connected.”_

“Who are you texting?” Dirk asks, sounding puzzled.

“Just Farah,” Todd answers. “How do you feel about going ice-skating today?”

Dirk practically beams. “I’ll go get dressed.”

Todd huffs a fond laugh as Dirk shoots up from the couch, still clutching his tea, and races off to the bedroom. He sends one last quick text to Farah before shutting off his laptop, officially done with work for the day.

**Todd: i have a coupon**

“I _told_ you that you should have worn a jacket,” Dirk says primly the moment they step outside of their apartment building.

Todd makes a face, rubbing his hands against his bare arms in an attempt to stop his shivering. “I’m not cold,” he lies.

“If you say so,” Dirk sing-songs, and Todd is incredibly grateful when a green car rolls into the parking lot and pulls up alongside them.

Tina sticks her head through the passenger-side window. _“Hi!”_ she shouts, even though Todd and Dirk are _literally_ right next to her. “Do you like the car? It’s new!”

“It’s lovely!” Dirk replies, even though the car is the harshest shade of lime green ever to exist _ever,_ and Todd isn’t sure how he feels about that.

“Get in,” Todd hears Farah say from the driver’s seat, and then he and Dirk are clambering into the backseats of the car.

Todd spends the ride to the ice-skating rink listening to Dirk and Tina debate over types of candy; Dirk argues that Starbursts are his favorite, while Tina vehemently stands by her statement that gummy worms are obviously best. Every once in a while, Farah interjects with a comment that has them all doubling over with laughter.

Todd can’t remember the last time he’s been this happy.

They reach the building with the ice rink, and Farah quickly and smoothly pulls into a parking spot.

“I wish I could park like that,” Dirk says enviously, and Todd laughs as he remembers Dirk’s attempted parking job from just a few days ago, in which he knocked over two mailboxes, three trash cans, and almost killed a cat.

They leave the car and start walking towards the building. The chill October breeze gives Todd goosebumps, and his shivers don’t get any better once they enter the building itself. The place feels like a freaking _freezer._

Tina walks up to the counter to rent out four pairs of skates, and Dirk fixes Todd with a stern look.

“What?” Todd demands. “What did I do this time?”

“You didn’t bring a jacket,” Dirk replies with the utmost seriousness. “Now you’ll catch hypothermia and _die,_ and it’ll all be my fault.”

Todd blinks, because the shift in mood was just so goddamned _sudden_ and he has absolutely no _clue_ how to respond. Finally, he settles for, “How would it be _your_ fault? I’m the one who didn’t bring the jacket.”

Dirk’s eyes soften. “Because, Todd, I _care_ about you and I’m supposed to be able to convince you to take care of yourself.”

Todd feels a surge of… _something_ shoot through his veins, warming him from the inside out. His eyes feel kind of hot, and there’s a sudden lump in his throat, and he’s not really sure where to put his hands-- after all, he doesn’t have a jacket with pockets he can stick them into.

“Oh,” he manages, swallowing hard. “I. Um. I care about you, too.”

The moment the words leave his mouth, Todd feels like an absolute idiot. Because who even _says_ stuff like that? Why is he so… so…

But before he can even come up with a suitable insult for himself, Dirk just smiles-- this sweet, sappy smile, and it makes Todd’s knees go weak.

He gets the idea that maybe he hadn’t said the wrong thing after all.

Then Todd realizes that Dirk’s still grinning brightly at him, his eyes sparkling, and Todd can feel his face growing warmer by the second. He really doesn’t know how much longer he’s going to be able to refrain from doing something _really_ stupid, especially if Dirk keeps _looking_ at him like that, all happy and radiant and practically _glowing--_

“Hey!” Tina shouts from the other side of the room. “I’ve got our skates!”

Todd, relieved, glances over to where she’s standing in front of the rental counter, clutching four pairs of ice skates in her hands. Her voice is distraction enough for Dirk, it seems-- he snaps his attention away from Todd and beams at Tina, crossing the room to grab his skates.

Todd exhales softly before following closely behind him.

Todd thought it was cold outside, and he thought it was cold in the ice rink building, but he had no idea it would be _this_ cold on the actual _ice._

He’s absolutely _freezing--_ he has to clench his jaw to keep his teeth from chattering, and there are painful goosebumps prickling along his arms. Not to mention the fact that he’s still gripping the glass railing surrounding the rink, teetering precariously on the blades of his skates.

It’s been… what? Five minutes? Ten? And Farah’s already got the hang of skating-- she’s twirling around on the ice like a pro. When Todd had asked her if she had ever been ice skating before, she had simply shaken her head.

_Figures._

Tina, on the other hand, can’t stop excitedly talking about how Hobbs used to take her skating all the time when she was a kid. She and Farah look like a pair of ice dancers, spinning around each other and giggling like maniacs.

And Dirk…

Dirk is also clinging to the railing, obviously struggling to keep himself upright. It’s slightly heartening for Todd to know he’s not the only one failing miserably at this whole skating thing.

And then Dirk glances up at him, a few strands of his dark hair falling into his face, and holds out his hand.

Todd’s brain goes blank for a minute and he just stares, stares at Dirk who stares at him and keeps his arm outstretched.

“Well?” Dirk says at last, huffing impatiently. “Are we going to skate or not? Do your job and _assist_ me up, Todd.”

Todd mutters something between a combination of “I want a promotion,” and “You’re an idiot,” but Dirk’s eyes are sparkling with mirth and so he reaches out and takes Dirk’s hand.

Dirk’s fingers are really, _really_ warm.

Todd tries his best not to notice.

They manage to sort of haul each other upright, leaning on one another for support. It’s not exactly the most foolproof system-- Todd’s face is pressed against Dirk’s chest and Dirk’s chin is resting in his hair and Todd’s arm, the one that isn’t occupied with clasping Dirk’s hand, is wrapped around Dirk’s torso.

Actually, now that he thinks about it, Todd decides that their setup isn’t so bad after all.

“Um,” he mutters, words muffled by the fabric of Dirk’s shirt, “shouldn’t we try to… skate?”

“Give me a moment,” Dirk says, voice sounding slightly strained. “If you move, I’m quite certain that I’ll just fall on my face.”

Todd smirks into Dirk’s chest. “Maybe I _should_ move then, and see--”

“No!” Dirk shrieks, tightening his arms around Todd, who can’t help but laugh.

“Okay,” Todd says firmly after another minute, “we’re doing this. Take my other hand.”

Dirk does so instantly, clutching both of Todd’s hands like he’s a lifeline. Slowly, they manage to push off each other until they’re both standing in a semi-upright position, holding hands for dear life.

(Once again, it’s not exactly a bad setup, by Todd’s standards.)

“Good,” Dirk exhales, relieved. “Good, we’re doing--”

He glances up and Todd realizes with a start just how _close_ their faces are. So close that he can count each of Dirk’s long, curling eyelashes. So close that he suddenly realizes Dirk has _freckles,_ a light splash of them running across his nose.

Before he even realizes what he’s doing, Todd moves his hand so that he’s cupping the side of Dirk’s face. He runs his thumb along Dirk’s cheekbone, across the smattering of freckles that he can’t believe he’s never noticed before.

Dirk’s breathing hitches, blue-green eyes widening. “Todd--”

His voice snaps Todd out of his trance and plunges him back into reality. He yanks his hand back, face burning and panic making it hard to breathe. He reflexively lets go of Dirk’s jacket and loses his balance, skates giving out beneath him as he falls--

\-- and Dirk catches him by the wrist, hauling him upright once more.

Todd exhales shakily into Dirk’s shoulder, gripping his arms so tightly he thinks he might be leaving marks. Loosening his hold by a fraction, he tries in vain to slow his racing heart.

“Todd,” Dirk says again, voice quavering slightly. “Now is probably not the best time to, um, do this. But, ah, is there any chance that-- that you might possibly be interested in-- please don’t let go, or we’ll both fall-- that you might be interested in…”

Todd peels himself away from where he’s plastered to Dirk’s chest so he can meet Dirk’s gaze. He can feel Dirk’s pulse thrumming in time with his own, and he suddenly understands what Dirk’s trying to ask.

“Yes,” Todd blurts, and Dirk seems taken aback. “Yes, I am interested in… in that. In--” for a brief moment, he wonders if he’s _really_ misjudged the situation, if he’s read the signals wrong and has _really_ screwed up, but there’s no turning back now “-- you.”

Dirk inhales shakily. Todd watches his throat bob as he swallows.

And then Dirk tilts his face downwards, just a bit, and presses his lips softly against Todd’s.

Todd feels his eyes fall shut as he returns the kiss, sliding his hands up to loop around Dirk’s shoulders. Dirk sighs into his mouth, threading a hand through Todd’s hair, and Todd’s knees go weak. It’s soft and warm and absolutely _perfect--_ better than he could have ever imagined--

And then Dirk leans on him too much and they both topple over onto the ice.

Todd lets out a very undignified yelp as he twists and lands on his palms, fingers trying and failing to dig into the surface of the slippery rink. He only has a second to attempt to collect his thoughts-- _ouch I fell and it hurts but I just_ kissed _Dirk Gently--_ before Dirk lands on top of him, slamming his chest into the ice.

Neither of them move for a moment, too startled to do much of anything except for wince.

 _“Ouch,”_ Dirk says finally. His voice is very loud in Todd’s ear, and Todd grimaces.

“Yes, ouch,” Todd mutters. “Get _off_ of me.”

So Dirk scoots off of Todd’s back and gives Todd enough room to push himself into a sitting position. Dirk is sitting cross-legged in front of him, rubbing a spot on his chin where he’ll probably have a bruise.

He and Dirk lock eyes.

And then Dirk _grins,_ a devilish smirk that makes his eyes glow with mischief.

Todd feels his face heat, cheeks starting to burn. _“What?”_

“You kissed me,” Dirk sing-songs, poking Todd’s shoulder with a slender finger. “You _kissed_ me, and you couldn’t even keep yourself standing upright because it was so good.”

Todd sputters uselessly. _“Excuse_ me? You were the one that fell--”

Dirk laughs before leaning forward and kissing him again, a chaste press of his mouth that still leaves Todd winded.

“Are we… okay?” Dirk says when he pulls back, sounding nervous. He seems suddenly guilty, and Todd can’t figure out why. “I mean… do you-- are you _okay_ with--”

 _Oh._ “Yes,” Todd answers quickly, before Dirk can further delude himself into believing that he isn’t one hundred and ten percent in love. “I am-- very okay. Like, _extremely_ okay. I am… fantastic.”

“Gross,” a voice pipes up from behind them, and Todd snaps his neck up so fast he thinks he’s lucky he didn’t break his spine. Tina is standing over them, arms crossed over her chest, but she’s wearing a shit-eating grin. “Get a room, guys.”

Dirk huffs, but Todd notes that his cheeks are flushed pink. “Don’t be mean, Tina.”

Tina’s grin turns wicked. “Sorry, sorry. But there are children around, so make sure you get off the ice rink before you start fu--”

 _“Okay!”_ Todd interrupts, face flaming. “Okay, we’re done here! Nothing to see, Tina! I’m sure Farah’s waiting for you around here _somewhere,_ isn’t she?”

He glances around the rink wildly, but Farah’s nowhere in sight.

Tina rolls her eyes fondly. “She’s getting us all some hot chocolate. Just… get off the rink without breaking any bones, okay? There’s a cafe right next door, we’ll meet you there.”

She skates off, more effortlessly and gracefully than Todd’s ever seen Tina do anything before, and he can’t help but feel a little jealous.

“So…” Dirk says slowly, and then he shyly holds out his hand. “Hot chocolate?”

Todd’s heart leaps into overdrive, warmth pooling in his chest. He stares at Dirk’s outstretched hand, feeling awed, because Dirk is reaching for _him._

Todd takes Dirk’s hand, and Dirk beams brighter than the sun.

Together, they manage to pull each other up and shakily skate towards the edge of the rink, absolutely gracelessly.


End file.
